I'm going through my email, I have sent items from 3/2001 and deleted from 3/2003. Here's a joke SOME might like. Is it for H.com? We'll find out.
An Irish girl went to London to work as a secretary and began sending home money and gifts to her parents. After a few years they asked her to come home for a visit, as her father was getting frail and elderly.
She pulled up to the family home in a Rolls Royce and stepped out wearing furs and diamonds. As she walked into the house her father said, "Hmmm -they seem to be paying secretaries awfully well in London."
The girl took his hands and said "Da - I've been meaning to tell you something for years but I didn't want to put it in a letter. I can't hide it from you any longer. I've become a prostitute."
Her father gasped, put his hand on his heart and keeled over. The doctor was called but the old man had clearly lost the will to live. He was put to bed and the priest was called.
As the priest began to administer Extreme Unction, with the mother and daughter weeping and wailing, the old man muttered weakly "I'm a goner -- killed by my own daughter! Killed by the shame of what you've become!"
"Please forgive me," his daughter sobbed, "I only wanted to have nice things! I wanted to be able to send you money and the only way I could do it was by becoming a prostitute."
Brushing the priest aside, the old man sat bolt upright in bed, smiling. "Did you say prostitute? I thought you said Protestant!"
Full Version: Cleaning out my email box.
Rated: Not Mindy
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago
when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun
in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to
jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out
today".
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago
when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun
in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to
jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out
today".
Rated: Mindy
1)
Here's one that besides explaining corporate policy can also explain minhagim.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of
stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs
and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches
the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same
result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when a monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack
him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he
tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace
it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is
attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment
with enthusiasm!
Replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth,
then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating
him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the
stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the
newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining
monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless,
no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the
banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way
it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
---------------------------------------
2)
Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley, on his way home from work at City Hall,
came to a dead halt in traffic on the Dan Ryan Expressway and thought to
himself,"Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving at all."
He noticed a State Trooper walking back and forth between the lines of
cars,so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, I'm Mayor Richard M.Daley, what's the problem; what's holding everything up."
The trooper replied, "It's the Reverend Jackson. He's so depressed about the thought of everyone knowing about his extra-martial affair and his illegitimate child, that he stopped his car in the middle of the Dan Ryan Expressway, and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire."
"He says the country and his congregation are blaming him for his
infidelity, and he doesn't know if he can live with the shame and
embarrassment. The people in the halted cars along the expressway are
taking up a collection for him."
"Oh really," replied Mayor Daley. "How much have they collected for the
Reverend Jackson so far?"
"About 300 gallons," said the trooper, "but they're still siphoning"
------------------------------
3)
Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the stuff, were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a National Day of mourning which they still observe today.
'
'
'
That day is known as... Sinko de Mayo
1)
Here's one that besides explaining corporate policy can also explain minhagim.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of
stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs
and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches
the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same
result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when a monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack
him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he
tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace
it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is
attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment
with enthusiasm!
Replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth,
then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating
him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the
stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the
newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining
monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless,
no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the
banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way
it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
---------------------------------------
2)
Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley, on his way home from work at City Hall,
came to a dead halt in traffic on the Dan Ryan Expressway and thought to
himself,"Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving at all."
He noticed a State Trooper walking back and forth between the lines of
cars,so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, I'm Mayor Richard M.Daley, what's the problem; what's holding everything up."
The trooper replied, "It's the Reverend Jackson. He's so depressed about the thought of everyone knowing about his extra-martial affair and his illegitimate child, that he stopped his car in the middle of the Dan Ryan Expressway, and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire."
"He says the country and his congregation are blaming him for his
infidelity, and he doesn't know if he can live with the shame and
embarrassment. The people in the halted cars along the expressway are
taking up a collection for him."
"Oh really," replied Mayor Daley. "How much have they collected for the
Reverend Jackson so far?"
"About 300 gallons," said the trooper, "but they're still siphoning"
------------------------------
3)
Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the stuff, were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a National Day of mourning which they still observe today.
'
'
'
That day is known as... Sinko de Mayo
Here's two more. These should last for a while.
1)A man appeared before the pearly gates. St. Peter
asked, " Have you ever done anything of particular
merit ?" The man said, " I can think of one thing.
Once I came upon a gang of hells angels who were
threatening a young women. I told them to leave her
alone but they wouldn't listen, so I approached the
biggest, and most heavily tattooed biker of the bunch.
I smacked him on the head, kicked over his bike and
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground
and told him if he didn't leave her alone he'd answer
to me." St. Peter was impressed. "When did this
happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago"
--------------------------
2)
Three men appear before the pearly gates and St. Peter asks each of them to tell him why they should be allowed in. The first says "I was a pediatrician and helped babies live healthy lives". St. Peter told him he could enter. The next person said he was a surgeon and helped people by removing tumors and trying to the best of his ability to cure other disorders that required surgery. St. Peter said he could enter.
Finally, the last man said he was an HMO manager and he helped control the cost of health care by making sure that only approved procedures and medicines were allowed.
St. Peter told the man he could enter. As the man started to cross the pearly gates, St. Peter turned and said "but only for three days and then you can go to hell".
1)A man appeared before the pearly gates. St. Peter
asked, " Have you ever done anything of particular
merit ?" The man said, " I can think of one thing.
Once I came upon a gang of hells angels who were
threatening a young women. I told them to leave her
alone but they wouldn't listen, so I approached the
biggest, and most heavily tattooed biker of the bunch.
I smacked him on the head, kicked over his bike and
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground
and told him if he didn't leave her alone he'd answer
to me." St. Peter was impressed. "When did this
happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago"
--------------------------
2)
Three men appear before the pearly gates and St. Peter asks each of them to tell him why they should be allowed in. The first says "I was a pediatrician and helped babies live healthy lives". St. Peter told him he could enter. The next person said he was a surgeon and helped people by removing tumors and trying to the best of his ability to cure other disorders that required surgery. St. Peter said he could enter.
Finally, the last man said he was an HMO manager and he helped control the cost of health care by making sure that only approved procedures and medicines were allowed.
St. Peter told the man he could enter. As the man started to cross the pearly gates, St. Peter turned and said "but only for three days and then you can go to hell".
The general rule as to whether a joke - or any post for that matter - is acceptable on H.com is to imagine it was written by "mosheshmeal" and if you think nechumele would delete it, then you know not to post it.
mosheshmeal
.
mosheshmeal
.
I'll keep that in mind.
A man was leaving a 7-11 with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse. About 50 feet behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull dog on a leash. Behind were 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
A man was leaving a 7-11 with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse. About 50 feet behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull dog on a leash. Behind were 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
The Mindy rating means something else to me.
I've read plenty of offcolor jokes. They are unfortunatley the funniest jokes. I can swallow an off color joke if they not too bad.
But a Mindy rating means, a joke MIndy has never seen.
Cuz I've seen 'em all.
The first joke, I have never seen before (the Protestant one). Congratulations.
I've read plenty of offcolor jokes. They are unfortunatley the funniest jokes. I can swallow an off color joke if they not too bad.
But a Mindy rating means, a joke MIndy has never seen.
Cuz I've seen 'em all.
The first joke, I have never seen before (the Protestant one). Congratulations.
QUOTE(Mindy @ Nov 27 2003, 11:11 PM)
But a Mindy rating means, a joke MIndy has never seen.
is that a challenge?
mosheshmeal
.
QUOTE(mosheshmeal @ Nov 27 2003, 11:40 PM)
QUOTE(Mindy @ Nov 27 2003, 11:11 PM)
But a Mindy rating means, a joke MIndy has never seen.
is that a challenge?
mosheshmeal
.
uh-oh.
Should children witness childbirth?Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again."
mosheshmeal
.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again."
mosheshmeal
.
the previous one is not a mindy rated joke.
(edited version for h.com)
A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip, he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the
size of that Son of a ####!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!" the priest said.
"No, Father," replied the guide, "that's what kind of fish it is. It's a Son of a #### fish!"
"Really? Well help me land this Son of a ####!" chimed the priest.
Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster."Father, that is the biggest Son of a #### I've ever seen" said the guide.
"Yes, it is a big Son of a ####," replied the priest.
"What should I do with it?" asked the priest. "Why eat it, of course," answered the guide. "You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a ####!"
Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a #### I caught!" the priest said.
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary. "Father!"
"It's OK Sister," said the priest, "that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a #### fish!"
"Oh well, then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a ####?" asked Sister Mary.
"Why, eat it of course," answered the priest. "The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a ####."
The Sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a #### for dinner.
"I'll even clean the Son of a ####," she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing, Sister Mary?" asked the Friar.
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a #### for the Pope's dinner," replied Sister Mary.
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!" asked the Friar.
"No, no, no. It's called a Son of a #### fish - really!" claimed Sister Mary.
"Oh, well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a #### can be the main course!" replied the Friar. "Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a ####."
On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent.
The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught the Son of a ####!" proclaimed the proud priest. The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.
"And I cleaned the Son of a ####!" exclaimed the sister. The Pope sat silent in disbelief.
And the Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a ####, using a special recipe!"
The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile creped across his face, and he said, "You f#####s are alright!"
mosheshmeal
.
A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip, he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the
size of that Son of a ####!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!" the priest said.
"No, Father," replied the guide, "that's what kind of fish it is. It's a Son of a #### fish!"
"Really? Well help me land this Son of a ####!" chimed the priest.
Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster."Father, that is the biggest Son of a #### I've ever seen" said the guide.
"Yes, it is a big Son of a ####," replied the priest.
"What should I do with it?" asked the priest. "Why eat it, of course," answered the guide. "You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a ####!"
Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a #### I caught!" the priest said.
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary. "Father!"
"It's OK Sister," said the priest, "that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a #### fish!"
"Oh well, then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a ####?" asked Sister Mary.
"Why, eat it of course," answered the priest. "The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a ####."
The Sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a #### for dinner.
"I'll even clean the Son of a ####," she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing, Sister Mary?" asked the Friar.
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a #### for the Pope's dinner," replied Sister Mary.
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!" asked the Friar.
"No, no, no. It's called a Son of a #### fish - really!" claimed Sister Mary.
"Oh, well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a #### can be the main course!" replied the Friar. "Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a ####."
On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent.
The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught the Son of a ####!" proclaimed the proud priest. The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.
"And I cleaned the Son of a ####!" exclaimed the sister. The Pope sat silent in disbelief.
And the Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a ####, using a special recipe!"
The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile creped across his face, and he said, "You f#####s are alright!"
mosheshmeal
.
An old lady is very upset as her husband Albert has just passed away. She goes to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she sees him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this sombre moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert is wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit. The
undertaker apologises and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a
black suit, but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returns to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit. She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?" "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied. The wife smiled at the man. He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"
mosheshmeal
.
undertaker apologises and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a
black suit, but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returns to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit. She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?" "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied. The wife smiled at the man. He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"
mosheshmeal
.
Sorry Moses Samuel - me's seen that one too...
I dont get the SOB joke... sorry.
I just got this one this morning:
Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Goldberg, how
about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Goldberg and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Goldberg! Great to see you!
You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Goldberg's boss is still skeptical. After they
leave Cruise's house, he tells Goldberg that he thinks Goldberg's knowing
Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Goldberg says.
“President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Goldberg says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Goldberg on the tour
and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Goldberg, what a surprise, I
was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in. Let's
have a cup of coffee first, and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to
Goldberg, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Goldberg. "I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome.
Goldberg and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square
When Goldberg says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye
among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just
go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure
enough,half an hour later Goldberg emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But
by the time Goldberg returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side,
Goldberg asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
Came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, Who's
That on the balcony with Goldberg?"
Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Goldberg, how
about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Goldberg and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Goldberg! Great to see you!
You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Goldberg's boss is still skeptical. After they
leave Cruise's house, he tells Goldberg that he thinks Goldberg's knowing
Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Goldberg says.
“President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Goldberg says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Goldberg on the tour
and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Goldberg, what a surprise, I
was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in. Let's
have a cup of coffee first, and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to
Goldberg, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Goldberg. "I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome.
Goldberg and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square
When Goldberg says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye
among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just
go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure
enough,half an hour later Goldberg emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But
by the time Goldberg returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side,
Goldberg asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
Came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, Who's
That on the balcony with Goldberg?"
Wait, I don't follow: "Not Mindy" means that Mindy *has* or *has not* ever seen?
according to cynic, mindy rated means clean. according to me, it's something I've never seen yet.
QUOTE(mosheshmeal @ Nov 28 2003, 01:01 AM) 
(edited version for h.com)
I simply cannot believe they let this one slip through.
mosheshmeal
.
QUOTE(mosheshmeal @ Nov 11 2007, 05:29 PM)
I simply cannot believe they let this one slip through.
mosheshmeal
.
mosheshmeal
.
You dug up a 4 year old post for that?
QUOTE(Natanel @ Nov 11 2007, 08:27 PM)
You dug up a 4 year old post for that?
I was doing chazooreh and just noticed it.
mosheshmeal
.
QUOTE(cynic @ Nov 28 2003, 08:32 PM)
I just got this one this morning:
Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day... Came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, Who's
That on the balcony with Goldberg?"
Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day... Came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, Who's
That on the balcony with Goldberg?"
I really like this one
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