http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/israeldia...out_Regrets.asp

by Riva Pomerantz
Three months later, and we're still smiling.

It's been nearly three months since we first landed on Israeli soil with our three children and ten suitcases. Three months of joyous discovery, rich experiences, and endless wonder. From all the doubts, pain, and confusion of the pre-aliyah process has emerged an exuberant feeling of coming home.

It wasn't easy to leave Cleveland. What would life in Israel be like? we wondered. How would our children adjust? Would the cultural differences be too much to bear? Questions like these reverberated in our minds even as we sold our possessions, said tearful good-byes to friends and family, and packed up our shipping container.

We hoped that our aliyah (ascending to Israel) would be a conduit to our family's spiritual growth, and from the looks of things, God is on our side. From the very moment we came, we have experienced outright miracles and abundant blessing. Our fears have been lifted, replaced with gratitude that we were given the courage to make the move despite our hesitations.

WORRIES

I worried about getting our lift, especially after friends had warned us that clearing our shipment meant anything from relatively minor hassles to major nightmares. Instead, we received our lift just three days after we arrived, without any difficulties whatsoever. Any doubts that Israeli service is not on par with American service were quickly laid to rest -- with one exception: the Jewish worker who had left the Port of Haifa at 5:00 am to bring our shipment apologetically explained that he hadn't had time to pray; he asked to borrow my husband's tefillin before he began unloading. Only in Israel, of course, and just one of hundreds of anecdotes that our family has noted thus far.

I was worried about the house we rented without ever having seen it. Instead, our house is beautiful. Leaving a four-story house in Cleveland, we were apprehensive about down-sizing -- now the worry has been replaced with genuine surprise that we ever opted to live on four floors, when two is so much easier.

I worried about the dire warnings regarding the meager job market. No problem -- God sent me a dream job, one that opens up new horizons for me and that is conveniently located right near my home.

I worried about the change from American products to Israeli ones. No problem -- my children now devour Osem ketchup with abandon.

I worried about lice. We've been through it twice and I'm happy to report that we are just fine.

I worried about medical care. Instead, we found caring doctors and a state-of-the-art healthcare system which takes a personal interest in new immigrants.

I worried about making new friends. Not a problem -- we didn't spend a single Shabbat meal at home for two months straight! My kids found playmates the very day we arrived.

I worried about security. Instead, my children delight in their freedom to play outside on our quiet cul-de-sac, while I am busy in the house, and I never think twice. A far cry from my anxiety about the kids playing alone outside back in Cleveland.

We have been accepted with open arms into a culture that is often very foreign to us.


I worried about the so-called black-and-white delineation of society here. Happily, we have seen nothing of the sort. We have been accepted with open arms into a culture that is often very foreign to us. Our children are being nearly smothered with signature Israeli warmth and love, and they're eating it up! They're already speaking Israeli-accented Hebrew among themselves, delighting in the discovery of a new language. My heart soars when I watch them play with their friends. There is such simplicity and innocence amongst these children. They are open and sincere; the girls hold hands and hug each other -- even at the ages of eight and nine. They take infinite pleasure in riding their bikes for hours on end, or playing with "sophisticated" toys like discarded tires and fallen palm fronds. They need no XBoxes or Disney movies to keep them happy.

I worried about the academic standards; now I find my worries not only unfounded, but laughable. My children are literally being stuffed with knowledge and creativity that is simply unsurpassed. My husband and I marvel at the strong education orientation that permeates Israeli society. After-school activities abound in all areas -- dance, gymnastics, music, and swimming to name just a few. Despite the fact that the school day is significantly shorter -- the kids begin at 8:15 and end at 1:15 -- there is an intense amount of learning that takes place.

I worried about living here without a car. Now I appreciate the fact that when you take taxis, flat tires and leaky gas lines are their problem (In Cleveland, the mechanic had been our best friend!).

DARK CLOUDS AND JOY

There is no doubt that life in Israel is tinged with the dark clouds of strife. The Haifa train station my husband traveled through in order to release our shipment was destroyed by Hezbollah rockets just three days after he was there. Two weeks into our aliyah, my children were already playing "security guard" -- asking to check my backpack as I entered their "store."

When war broke out in Lebanon, we talked to the kids about it. No sense in trying to hide it when their friends were all discussing it with the sage wisdom of seven-year-olds going on 50. We prayed, we sent food to the displaced families from the North, and we went about our lives as best as we could. It's a different dimension of existence, but we are all in this together, and that's no small comfort.

There is no joy like the utter joy of living in Israel, where the streets reverberate with tangible spirituality and genuine Jewish experience.


We have found that living in Israel has brought a beautiful sense of bonding and serenity to our family in general. Both my husband and I have found ourselves spending significantly more time bonding with our kids than we ever were able to in America. We feel connected and united in the big move we made, and the new life we've built, and none of us has any regrets. Our children have become so relaxed and independent. Whether it's walking home from school together, or taking ambling walks through the streets, our kids really feel the beauty of living here. They have integrated seamlessly into Israeli life -- beyond our wildest dreams -- and we chalk it up to just one aspect of the Divine kindness which has guided us in this venture from the very start.

There is no joy like the utter joy of living in Israel, where the streets reverberate with tangible spirituality and genuine Jewish experience. Jewish life is satisfyingly real here.

The heavy emphasis on spiritual growth here is impacting our lives in tangible ways. My husband is able to devote his entire mornings to Torah study -- an opportunity he never dreamed of in America, where his job consumed his every free moment.

On one of the intermediate days of Sukkot, our family took a spontaneous hike in the mountains surrounding our neighborhood. There we found ancient mikvas, ritual baths, hewn out of stone and the crumbled remnants of cities where our ancestors once lived. This is our back yard! I am still awestruck at the fact that we can simply hop on a bus and visit the Western Wall -- the holiest place on earth. In Israel, I am home.

It's been three months, and I'm still euphoric. I love the people, the weather and the breathtaking views. Even the produce tastes sweeter. We feel overwhelmingly privileged to have been given the strength and courage to grab the opportunity that is available to all Jews today. In fact, I get goose bumps just thinking that last year on Passover we sang "Next year in Jerusalem."

And just look at us -- here we are. What are you waiting for?
Published: Sunday, October 22, 2006

6 1/2 years later I'm still smiling and love being in Israel but that doesn't mean that aliyah is all sunshine and roses, and it's a disservice to those contemplating aliyah to make them think otherwise.

It's great here, it's wonderful, I had tears in my eyes driving around before Sukkot seeing all the balconies adorned with Sukkahs, even in apartments of "non-dati" people.

Riva and family are either incredibly lucky or such great tzadikim that everything goes perfectly for them. I'm very happy for them, but it's not representative.

Of course part of it is attitude and while it's commendable that Riva doesn't find it difficult to live without a car, I must admit that I found the lack of frequent public transportation in my town a severe hardship in my first year here; especially since there wasn't even a taxi service at the time. Somehow waiting 45 minutes for a bus when a car would have had me home in 5 minutes irked me, despite the thrill of living in Eretz Yisrael.

Downsized from 4 floors to 2 floors? Hmm....my apartment is also smaller than the house I had in chul but quite adequate for my needs; however I have lots of friends with 4 and 5 kids living in 85 sq. meter 4th floor walk up apartments - not fun. After school chugim - yes they are wonderful, my kids enjoy them and we even elementary school here til 3:20 - but my friends living in those 4th floor walk-ups usually can't afford a chug for their kids.

I think aliyah is awesome, I'm much happier here than I was in the States, I love that being Jewish is normal, I encourage people to make aliya. But keep in mind that the roses have thorns. Most people go through some difficulties, they make good stories to laugh about later on.

There's a great book like this about the stories, the roses and the thorns they come with. OF course the name eludes me at the moment but I definitely encourage everyone to read it, even if not contemplating aliyah as it shows you how not matching plates are not a big deal and other such items.

the book that you are talking about, i think, is called To Dwell in the Palace, right? its a great book but if you want the TRUE life in Israel, thats not the right book, but it is a wonderful book.

Eretz Yisrael Nikne B'yissurim. Most people do not have breezy, trouble free klita, I think that article might do some people a diservice. I love living here and never want to move, but it is definately not all rainbows.

i think that she is probably still in the bubble that you call "aliyah heaven" i think that many of us who are here were in that bubble for a certain time and then you come down to real life and realize that you would not live anywhere else but lifes crappy things also happen here.......

Yeh that's it. Well that's as far as we got on our aliyah adventure. No rabbanim want us to move there so for now we're stuck in chu"l.

can i just ask what that means, that no rav wants you to move to Israel? what does a rav have to do with moving ti Israel? cant you just pick up and leave if you so desire?

Well yes and no. My husband and I often like to discuss things with rabbanim before we make decisions, especially such drastic ones as leaving the continent and such. We discussed this particular topic (for various reasons) with numerous rabbanim. All agreed that for the current moment, it is best for our family to stay put where we are until circumstances change somewhat for our family. At first I was a little annoyed by this answer but accepted it, now, however, after seeing numerous friends of mine make aliyah I don't think I'm as dissappointed. I see that their life isn't the "idealism" that the seminary teachers seem to make it out to be. NOw, don't think I'm still not striving to make it possible and to change circumstances but I now can see the cons of living there as well, including some of hte hardships of raising kinderlach in that country.

ummm......the hardships of raising children in this country? what about in america where there are all of the secular and non jewish influences? is that not a BIG hardship on children's neshamot?

its funny to hear someone say that that is one of the reasons for not coming because that is THE EXACT reason why i DID come to live in israel, so that my children IYH, will grow up and be educated in a jewish environment where our chagim are the states chagim etc.....

OH!!! Did I say there aren't hardships in America? CH"v. There are plenty here, but there are plenty there as well. Here, we're having a hard time finding a school that fits us hashkafah-wise for our kinderlach. In E"Y I'm sure it would be easier but the kids would be forced to not play ball, which to me is very important for the education of a child. (call me crazy if you want). It's just not all roses, but still if I was able to, I would definitely move there (not sure if I would declare aliyah or not) as soon as I could. Not a question of thinking it's better here versus there, but it's just not a bed of roses.

everyone has a different outlook on things, huh?
i think that bringing up children in america is no bed of roses..... to each her and his own....

Yes but I think it's really the same to an extent and I may just not be clearly explaining myself. All I'm trying to say is that the idealism I see the sem teachers espouse isn't the reality I hear from my friends. This does NOT mean I don't want to move there.

It's not!!! It's a bed of thorns but at least I know that and can try and prepare myself for the battle. In E"Y I might not realize the prep I need for this.

i agree with you that some sems do color coat the way life in israel is and then you have many ppl come back to live here and are MAJORLY disappointed. i hear you.
i wen to a sem (orot) that did not color coat anything. i jsut had a feeling when i got back to the states that i did not feel in israel, so i came back to live and even though it is most definitely not a bed of roses, i ove liveing here and would not go back for anything BH.

toldja'

The times they are achangin'. American ideals such as playing ball have taken hold to some degree in certain communities.



Never had the luxury of that particular bubble.

dont worry, you are not missing anything from not having had a chance to have that bubble. my friends who were in that seminary bubble always talked of coming back to israel to make their life here and well, only one friend actually did, the others are still all over the world but not in israel.........

I liked Riva's article and am of a similar mindset, and I've been here 23 years. My guess is that she lives in Yerushalayim, because no other place could give them all that.

We had difficulties, real hard ones. We still don't have a car but I badly want one and am saving. Looking 50 straight in the face and getting tired of the shlepping. I think making it a big deal when you are young and your family small is an exageration. I had 9 people in a 85 m house. We had to build a wall cutting off part of our living room because we were blessed w/1 dd and 6 ds.

Yeah, for all that. Despite all that. What you people called aliya bubble I believe is just the stage before the dulling of spiritual sense. When you first get here the kedusha is new and exciting and overrides the disappointments. Also she takes joy in some things Anglos fight. She is happy her kids speak in Hebrew and are becoming Israelis. Some Anglo parents fight w/all their might against it. I believe anyone with an attitude like hers will have a successful klita.

you are correct that she will have a succesful klita, no doubt. i felt the same way that he article is saying for the first longish while after i got here.
but then that bubble of "everything is amazing here becaus it is israel and there is nothing negative about this country" died a bit to a different feeling. it grew to a feeling of, yes, this country has its problems and i hae my own problems with and in this country, but would i go back to america b/c of any of the problems? to heck no. no way in the world. i rather deal with an difficulties in this country where avraham aveinu stepped foot than in a country that was a great place to grow up, but thats it:)

I agree.

Very interesting article and discussion so far. Thanks, Pleats, for posting it.

This was the best quote in the article:

"There is no joy like the utter joy of living in Israel, where the streets reverberate with tangible spirituality and genuine Jewish experience."

But my initial reaction was similar to that of some other people here. I thought that article was a bit foolish. Now let me qualify that because I have mixed feelings about this. Here are the points I would like to make:

1. Indeed "There is no joy like the utter joy of living in Israel, where the streets reverberate with tangible spirituality and genuine Jewish experience."

2. 1 alone is enough of a reason to make Aliyah. Period.

3. Aliyah IS hard and DOES have problems but is still well worth it... perhaps so much so that you won't pay any attention to the problems.

4. Eretz Yisrael is the one place where Hashem directly oversee things (not through a malach like in Chu"L) and in Eretz Yisrael you MUST have a tremendous amount of Amunah and Bitachon and when you do Hashem WILL NEVER let you down. "נַעַר הָיִיתִי גַּם זָקַנְתִּי וְלֹא רָאִיתִי צַדִּיק נֶעֱזָב וְזַרְעוֹ מְבַקֶּשׁ לָחֶם."

5. I felt the same way - sort of a "told you so" feeling after I made Aliyah and everything went well for me. I wanted to let everybody know that have nothing to worry about and Aliyah is a piece of cake. But the fact is honestly speaking I don't think Aliyah should even be possible to do at all. I think there is a tremendous amount of hashchacha pratus involved- you have no idea!

It just doesn't make sense how people living in a first world country with the highest standard of living and every comfort they can dream of can get up and move to a country so foreign and so different just like that. Every single oleh that ever came was only able to make it here because Hashem litereally holds us in his arms every second of the day. And you really have to have this attitude of expecting the worse, preparing for it well, praying for the best, and still relying totally on Hashem and realizing that when things to go well it is only through Hashem's kindness that they did.

"The land which you are about to occupy is not like Egypt, the place you left, where you could plant your seed and irrigate it by yourself, just like a vegetable garden. But the land which you are crossing to occupy is a land of mountains and valleys, which can be irrigated only by the rain." (Ekev)

Here we are totally dependent on Hashem and in touch with him everyday... in Chu"L it doesn't feel that way at all. I hope the author realizes that it is all Yad Hashem. (I'm sure she did.)

And I don't honestly understand how any Jew in the world that is truly striving to get closer to hakadush barach hu can't at least want to make Aliyah.

can i ask a question? did you make aliyah with nefesh b'nefesh? then of course your klita was trouble free. you had everything taken care of for you.

unlike ppl who came from america before NBN and had to go through the beaurocratic red tape........i went through a bit of red tape but it was not a peice of cake, that i can tell you for sure.

I am with you Pinchas, until number 5. I had a very different "klita experience then you or anyone else, which is probably why. I agree with almost everything you said, though.

Yes but based on my friends. The communities standards that we would try and "mesh" with it hasn't yet taken a hold of. Although it may by the time we actually make it over.


Yes, but even people who do NBN and have help with klita, have their share of problems as well. Don't kid yourself.

that may be true, but ppl from NBN did not have any of that beaurocratic crud at misrad hapnim b//c it was all done on the plane for them.
no wonder they feel that all is cheery.

Sure. I post these things to make you happy.

as someone who did emigrate (though not to Israel) I am VERY wary of these rose-tinted stories and think they're potentially dangerous to new immigrants. People need to be realistic. There will be changes and there may even be times when all you want is to go "home". Immigrants are best helped (IMO) by being told these feelings are normal and natural and that things need to be looked at as a whole picture. It's OK if you still think Heinz ketchup is better than Osem. It's OK if you have days when you wish you were back in America where you knew where to buy everything and how to get the best price. It's OK to hate learning to drive over again with a stick shift. Most people are happier knowing the roses have thorns than thinking "I should love it here, it's what I've always wanted so why am I not happy?" What's important is knowing that some things can be difficult, and yet you can still have a successful aliyah.

totally agree with that. being realistic is SOOOOOOOO important when you emigrate to any new place.

i think that many ppl have that heads in the clouds, everything is perfect notion when moving to israel, b/c it is israel. does that make sense? i mean, "nothing could be wrong with israel", that sort of way.

and now you've proved that we agree