This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to an actual person or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

* * *

I arrived home, and my roommate gave me a strange greeting: "OMG, Avram, what happened to you?" he sputtered.

What do you mean?" I asked.

Yoel continued to stare at me as though he were seeing a ghost. I was usually home during the day, working on my dissertation on the fruit flies of Indonesia, so perhaps he was surprised that he hadn't seen me for several hours.

"I had a date," I offered, as though that would explain everything.

"And?" he answered, as though I hadn't explained anything at all.

"It was all right. She seemed a little . . . stand-offish."

"I can imagine," Yoel added, with a downward gaze.

I looked down.

"OMG!" I shouted. "Where are my pants?"

Yoel answered, "That's what I was wondering, Avram."

"Well . . . they must have just slipped off somewhere." I did a dervish, whirling around, looking on the floor behind me and around me. There was no sign of them.

"So it was a good date?"

"OMG! Where are my pants? Where could I have lost them?"

Yoel shrugged his shoulders. "Your date didn't say anything about you not wearing pants?"

This was even more shocking to me. Had my pants slipped off while on my date? I immediately phoned the girl, Shprintza.

"Hi, Shprintza, this is Avram."

"Hello, Avram. I didn't expect to hear from you so quickly."

"I had a lovely time today."

"Thank you. It was quite an experience for me, too."

"Shprintza, this is awkward -- when I got home, I discovered that my pants were missing. I don't know how that happened. Maybe they slipped off while I was on the subway home."

She didn't say anything.

"You know the pants I'm talking about?"

"No," she answered.

"You know, the navy Brooks Brothers slacks."

"I didn't see them," Shprintza said.

"What's that? You mean, you didn't see them slip off while on our date?"

"No, I mean you weren't wearing pants on the date at all."

"Oh. Wow; I don't know how that happened. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, I didn't know what to say. I was a little shocked, to be honest. I've never been on a date with a man who wasn't wearing pants. -- I thought maybe you were Scottish."

I was very disappointed with that girl. As I told Yoel, here I was on a date with a girl, and I somehow apparently lost my pants before the date began, and she wasn't even courteous enough to tell me that. Well, I never saw her again, even though the shadchan said that she was willing to meet me again. No wonder she's still single! Some women are so inconsiderate!

obviously there was not much for her to look at so she did not mention the pants missing

I think it would've been obvious had she been something to look at herself. No?

Bez, does this mean a series on missing pants? The search for?

Hmmm...a beach date! Izzz niiiice. [][][y time!

On another note, none of the girls I've dated so far wore pants on the date. So why should I?

Found them.

Hey! And you said you didn't know where they were!