Suppose you really want kids and your wife was ambivalent. You know once she is pregnant she will be happy about it, but she is not ready to take that final step. So, you replace her BC pills with sugar pills and sure enough she gets preggers.

It's a few months in and she is really glad the BC "didn't work." Should you tell her what you did?

It really depends on the wife. If I was the wife I could see myself being offended, but it's really hard to say. I think this is one of those cases where silence is golden.

Maybe on your deathbed, because otherwise whenever you tell her will likely be your deathbed...

If I was the wife, I would not want to know.

Wait till after the birth because otherwise all you'll hear all day is "You got me into this so you better get me/do for me [fill in the blank] right now, or else [fill in threat]"

You don't think that will happen after the child is born?
Tzaar gidul banim and all that...

You mean "You got this into me...."

Probably, but it won't be as constant. Just make sure to pick a time where she's not about to strangle the kid, because then you might become the victim instead.

Yeah, but when she's up at night with the baby or cleaning up one of his accidents or whatever she will blame it on him

First of all, NEVER do that. She's the one who's carrying the kid so that's a cruel, horrible thing to do. But if you already did it, don't tell. Just don't. Ever. She'll never have sex with you again and will never quite trust you the same way.

I don't know about you but I'd be very wary of some Viagra pills suddenly "not working" one day down the road.

That is a very good point.

And what do you know, if she does find out, all you'll be hearing is "This is all your fault!".

Didn't this happen to Gabby in Desperate Housewives? Just look at how that relationship turned out. 'Nuff said.

yeah, but if someone who ever uses any type of BC at any time in her married life is "lacking Jewish values", as was asserted in another thread, wouldn't substituting a placebo be saving her soul?
Or do we pasken that "values tzerichot kavanah"?

Well destroying shalom bayis will severely lessen the chances of pru urvu in the future so you have to consider the trade off.

You're not serious, are you?

I think it was her MIL who swamped the pills. That storyline came to mind when I saw this thread.

1. It is questionable whether someone is allowed to do that and even if so whether it is proper to do so.
2. The issue here is not whether to DO it, but whether or not to TELL her once you already have...

That's a terrible, shameful idea, IMO, because the woman will not expect to be preg. and may be drinking coffee, wine, etc., and the baby deserves a strong start in life !

It has to be a mutual decision, and the dr may even want the woman to have a few pill less or bc less cycles, before trying to conceive.

actually it was her ex husband.

this is a very terrible hypothetical question to ask, if she is on the BC for a health reason, a husband has no right but to accept the position he is in and just wait for her to be ready to have a child. yes it is a difficult thing to accept but a person has to accpet the challenges Hashem has given him and daven for a yeshuah.

no one should EVER, EVER change their spouse's medications for no reason what so ever, no matter how much you want children

I'm shocked that nobody has mentioned that besides being a lack of consideration and respect, etc, etc meddling with someone's medications is putting their health in risk.

ETA: Did you say sugar pills? - then she knows. BC pills have the distinctively weird sweet flavor of saccharin, and I doubt she wouldn't have noticed the difference.

Oh, I was thinking of The Firm. The mob wanted to switch his wife's b.c. pills so they'd have a child that they could then hold for ransom.

It was clear in this case though that the husband KNEW she would be happy to get pregnant, she just needed that little push. (shuddup mordechai.)