Hello everyone! Hope you are all doing good...
You know sometimes people decide to get others gifts/gift certificates for their hard work/birthday...
And then they ask you to help pay for it, whether it be $1 or $10. What's your take on this? They ask you if you can bring in some money and you feel kinda forced to say yes.... what are you going to say, no? But is this right what they are doing?
Full Version: Oh Yeah, We Decided To Buy Y A Present
I don't think it's right if they haven't asked beforehand.
I live in an apartment complex with another five tenants and B"H there seems to be fertile ground around here, as they have babies every year or two. So I'm constantly giving between 10 and 20 bucks for baby gifts. I've given more than once for the same family and it kinda irks me. I mean, the chances that I should get more than one gift while living here is not that high. I feel a bit cheated. I know, it's immature. But what bothers me is that they don't ask me, but let me know that this is the amount for the gift.
Oh, and when I gave birth and lost one twin, stupid me cried so hard (can you say Hormone Harasha?) that I'm only getting 1/2 the gift that I was meant to get.
I live in an apartment complex with another five tenants and B"H there seems to be fertile ground around here, as they have babies every year or two. So I'm constantly giving between 10 and 20 bucks for baby gifts. I've given more than once for the same family and it kinda irks me. I mean, the chances that I should get more than one gift while living here is not that high. I feel a bit cheated. I know, it's immature. But what bothers me is that they don't ask me, but let me know that this is the amount for the gift.
Oh, and when I gave birth and lost one twin, stupid me cried so hard (can you say Hormone Harasha?) that I'm only getting 1/2 the gift that I was meant to get.
QUOTE(smile @ Dec 24 2007, 10:45 PM) 
They ask you if you can bring in some money and you feel kinda forced to say yes.... what are you going to say, no?
I would say no. If I wanted to get this person a gift, I would have either purchased something myself, or gotten together with the other person(s) before a gift was purchased. I don't feel "obligated" to give money just because people wrongly assumed I would.
What about if it's only a dollar or two? But it's the principle...!!!
If you said yeah, you would try to bring in money, are you obligated to? Sometimes you feel like you can't say no...! I hate those situations!!!
And TheDuncePolice, I give you a bracha that you should be blessed with many children and receive many presents. Amen!
If you said yeah, you would try to bring in money, are you obligated to? Sometimes you feel like you can't say no...! I hate those situations!!!
And TheDuncePolice, I give you a bracha that you should be blessed with many children and receive many presents. Amen!
QUOTE(smile @ Dec 24 2007, 11:17 PM)
But it's the principle...!!!
Which principle?
QUOTE(existwhere? @ Dec 24 2007, 11:19 PM)
Which principle?
That you can't just buy a present and then expect everyone to chip in. Do you agree, is this making any sense??!!!
QUOTE(TheDuncePolice @ Dec 24 2007, 11:08 PM)
I don't think it's right if they haven't asked beforehand.
I live in an apartment complex with another five tenants and B"H there seems to be fertile ground around here, as they have babies every year or two. So I'm constantly giving between 10 and 20 bucks for baby gifts. I've given more than once for the same family and it kinda irks me. I mean, the chances that I should get more than one gift while living here is not that high. I feel a bit cheated. I know, it's immature. But what bothers me is that they don't ask me, but let me know that this is the amount for the gift.
Oh, and when I gave birth and lost one twin, stupid me cried so hard (can you say Hormone Harasha?) that I'm only getting 1/2 the gift that I was meant to get.
I live in an apartment complex with another five tenants and B"H there seems to be fertile ground around here, as they have babies every year or two. So I'm constantly giving between 10 and 20 bucks for baby gifts. I've given more than once for the same family and it kinda irks me. I mean, the chances that I should get more than one gift while living here is not that high. I feel a bit cheated. I know, it's immature. But what bothers me is that they don't ask me, but let me know that this is the amount for the gift.
Oh, and when I gave birth and lost one twin, stupid me cried so hard (can you say Hormone Harasha?) that I'm only getting 1/2 the gift that I was meant to get.
At work I chipped in for everyone else's baby presents but no-one bought me any baby presents (and I had 2 babies while working there). I guess I wasn't that popular. Yes, it's immature. You're not alone. Oh and I cried in camp because my birthday is in the summer and my bunkmate had a cake baked for her birthday and nothing was done for mine. (and the camp brochure explicitly said that all campers birthdays that fall during camp are celebrated in camp.)
QUOTE(smile @ Dec 24 2007, 11:21 PM)
That you can't just buy a present and then expect everyone to chip in.
Yes, I see your point, was just too tired last night.
Could even be onaas devarim sometimes.
QUOTE(existwhere? @ Dec 25 2007, 05:41 AM)
Yes, I see your point, was just too tired last night.
Could even be onaas devarim sometimes.
Could even be onaas devarim sometimes.
How is it onaas devarim? Wow, so this is an issur....
QUOTE(Jeanette @ Dec 24 2007, 11:41 PM)
At work I chipped in for everyone else's baby presents but no-one bought me any baby presents (and I had 2 babies while working there). I guess I wasn't that popular. Yes, it's immature. You're not alone. Oh and I cried in camp because my birthday is in the summer and my bunkmate had a cake baked for her birthday and nothing was done for mine. (and the camp brochure explicitly said that all campers birthdays that fall during camp are celebrated in camp.)
That baby gift thing happened to me, but I didn't mind because after that (ignored mine) we no longer ran the system anymore
The cake situation is typical of something that would happen to me. (although it didn't, but it would if my b-day was in camp)
QUOTE(TheDuncePolice @ Dec 24 2007, 11:08 PM)
Oh, and when I gave birth and lost one twin, stupid me cried so hard (can you say Hormone Harasha?) that I'm only getting 1/2 the gift that I was meant to get.
Sometimes it's easier to mourn the small because you can't face the big.
QUOTE(brianna @ Dec 25 2007, 12:59 PM)
Sometimes it's easier to mourn the small because you can't face the big.
Amen. Like crying over the purchase of a single carriage instead of the twin carriage I was planning on buying. Or some such stuff.
Although I did face the big B"H and I can say I fully grieved. Although one never gets over it.
Wouldn't the definition of Tip or Gift mean that the person is giving it willingly, not by coercion ?
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