(Numbing day at work ...)

To think about it, if C would correspond to the "normative" across the line Judaism, one could argue that

Brisk --> Ada
(
Largely irrelevant
Everybody tries to imitate it
Pathologically impractical
Retentive
Boring
The only compliant language in every sense of the word
Designed by a comittee
)

Chassidism --> C++
(
claims to do everything C does;
nobody remembers why it was invented
even more efficient in casting most arguments to void*
those who don't know it can't get enough bashing it;
" Tzadik = &God; " is a legitimate declaration
Templates can instantiate a totally new class out of just a village name : " chassidus<Tzelem> "
sizeof chassidus<Tzelem> == 0;
Many creative implementations over years
Almost all of them gone, and a mediorcity seems to have won
Designed by a anti-comittee
)

Chabad --> Java
(
Claims to be a better C++
Has some of the richest libraries around
Those library breaks a lot
Looks free but costs a lot
In theory, can interface with anything else
In practice, theory remains a theory
Those who know it can't get enough bashing it;
"Tzadik = God;" is a legitimate declaration
Designed by marketing dept.
)

Lakewood --> COBOL
(
Does in 12 pages what C++ does in three lines
Too much legacy to discard
Criminally mind-numbing
Designed by a comittee
)

Western Sepharade --> ALGOL 68
(
Was ahead of its time
Had some very nice ideas
Influenced almost everything that came afterwards
Is dead
)

Hungarianism --> FORTRAN
(
A "real coder" will write FORTRAN in any language
Defensively passive-aggressive
Often is the only tool to get the job done
Looks dead but isn't
)

Aish haTorah --> BASIC
(
Cripples minds and fingers
Sometimes teaches anti-values
Producing positive results that can be disorienting
"Sometimes good people do very bad things"
)

Classic Lurianic Kabbalism --> Assembler
(
Is underneath everything
Knowledge is very helpful even if not used directly
Very few use it directly
Even fewer use it properly
Even fewer use it with a benefit
Extinct as an Art
)

Modern Kabbalism --> INTERCAL
(
Look up INTERCAL
)

Why are only procedural languages covered!?

_ --> ML
(
...
)

I started covering Haskell, LISP and Erlang but that would be too offensive to some members ...

But C++ is a functional language. Here is why :

Oh, but please do. The public demands to know!

Ten points to SG.

Don't worry, only about 5 people understand WTH you are talking about anyway....

What about obfuscated languages? I'd like to see something about Malbolge or Ook!

Kudos to SG on that code - it's well known that c++ templates are turing complete, but template programming of this sort is still so fabulously ugly.

You mean (*myself)[t] = 0; ?

Also, yeah while templates provide for iteration (or even turing completeness?) this does not make <C++ with templates> a functional language <pedantic evil smilie>

What does this resemble?

Oh wait...I know! It resembles so many of my shidduch dates.

Funny

Hey, look right there under Moder Kabbalism.


No uglier then Lisp or Ocaml ;- I find STL beautiful in its own way. Thanks for kudos - I wrote it all myself ;-. Now you see what a day at work started looking like ...


So :

STL <--> Chachmei Ashkenaz

Ha! I missed the INTERCAL reference on first glance.

No, because then it would make a tiny bit of sense and it is imperative for functional programming not to make any practical sense whatsoever.


It's all semantics.