This past shabbos there was this weird couple from out of town in shul. Right before they made kiddush, the wife unbuttoned her shirt and started brestfeeding her baby!
While this wasn't that uncommon, Tuvia, our resident village idiot, screamed, "hey, your kid hasn't been yotze kiddush yet!" which caused everyone to turn around and give him a double take. While all this happened, the out of town husband used the (deliberate?) distraction to serve the vast majority of the food offered for the kiddush on his plate.
Just before anyone could say anything he sneezed directly into his plate...
Then, we heard this was not the first time these people do this. SO... if a couple with a baby wearing matching "I hate Satmar" T shirts shows up at your shul, you've been warned...

Here's a picture of the individual (without the "I hate Satmar" shirt)

It depends which side she put the baby on first. If it was the right side one could be dlz and say she was trying to arouse the chesed to be misgaber over the dinim so that they could make kiddush between 6 and 7.

So she was really doing all of you a big toiveh.

But it was during the day, so....

mosheshmeal
.

I'm pretty sure it was the left side...