What is a nice gift to get your OB/GYN who delivered your baby?
What's conidered a standard amount to spend on something like this?
Is it common to give a gift at all?
What have you done or heard others do?

(In this case OB/GYN is male, but it's good to hear ideas for either sex)

I think it's strange to give a gift.

Agreed. However, I think a small token is appropriate: A card with a nice note of appreciation and a picture...some sort of hakarat ha-tov, and something the physician can display for marketing purposes. If you want to go all out, maybe with flowers. But I agree much beyond that isn't appropriate.

LTL, bookmark your opening post and revisit it after you have your twelfth in good health.

A picture of the baby if he has a wall or album. Don't really need to give anything, but it's nice to show what meaning he played in your daughter's arrival.

Will do.

OK, I thought it was common to give a present, I'm glad I asked and found out it's not. It'll save us money
I guess a card and a picture will suffice, maybe a box of chocolate for the office (nurse, secretary, PAs that helped)

Sounds to me like a good idea.

Real men don't become OB/GYN's.

Based on things I read, I also though it was common to receive a gift as a new mommy
Different lifestyles, I think. Do what sits right for you, but I don't think your doctor will make any indication on your record one way or another to show favoritism or give you the cold shoulder

(I still have yet to give pictures for my midwife's album. I think it would be nice to, but never thought about it really.)

Nice (and probably above and beyond what most other patients do).

I have vague memories of my parents bringing in either bagels for breakfast (or maybe it was beer?) after my sister was born.

that's what the bundle of joy wrapped in pink was

(i finally gave my daughter's picture to my midwife (for her office collection) about 2 years after the fact, although i really meant to before. better late than never)

Tell that to the guy getting paid by you to see your wife undressed.

What do they become? Proctologists???

Trust me when I say what happens in the exam room is not at all sexual. Despite the pornos.

Your doctor gets paid plenty for each and every one of your visits, plus the actual birth. S/he does NOT need a 'gift.' Send a picture if you must.

We gave the midwife that was with me during 14 hrs of the labour (not the only midwife - she was the 3rd shift but stayed until my baby was born) a nice necklace because she was really amazing and we couldn't appreciate her enough (NHS hospital so I doubt she got paid enough for such dedication).

Very few people actually "NEED" gifts. That's hardly the point of many gifts. Often they are symbolic gestures of your appreciation.
And that a person "gets paid plenty" for the work they do does not obviate the need for other forms of hakarat ha-tov.

Your first born.

9

I wanted to add that many doctors (especially obstetricians) do not make nearly the money you think they do because of malpractice insurance.

And FWIW, my midwife has a flat pregnancy/birth/postpartum fee and doesn't get any extra if I needed more visits or anything.

It doesn't?

A gift wounds very weird. It would make things awkward.

I largely agree which is why in my first post in this thread I suggested that a gift is not appropriate. But it depends what one means by "gift". While I suggested a gift is not appropriate, flowers can be. My point in the post to which you are responding is that being monetarily compensated does not obviate the need for hakarat ha-tov. On the simplest and most extreme level, when you pay your fees, you still say, "Thank you", even though you are paying him or her.
My objection is to Aishel's insinuation which, the way I read it, is that because a physician "gets paid plenty" already, he or she is not in NEED of anything else. In my opinion, not true.

IMO, a card with a picture is appropriate, and maybe something small (ie picture frame) with a nice note if the doctor or midwife was very helpful, ie a high risk pregnancy in which he or she spent a lot of extra time with you.

I agree with this objection. I still get something or do something extra for my babysitter on her birthday, even though I pay her.

I wouldn't want to give a picture of my child to a doctor.

Why not? This isn't your eye doctor. This is the person who helped you bring your baby into the world. A photo sounds like a nice gesture.

I think it's weird [that doctors collect photos]. I wouldn't want to post photos of my child on a bulletin board, anywhere on the internet, or give a photo to any non-relative.

Of course you should thank them and give hakaras hatov. My point is that a gift does not need to be anything extravagent or high value.

Based on the OP, it seems like LTL was considering getting something that was a lot more expensive than just a thank you. That, is not necessary.

Obviously that's not an issue for us. Just because you are not comfortable with something, it doesn't make someone weird for doing it.


Did you read post #5?

Before you rush ahead with a gift, consider the size of the bill the kind doctor will send to you ON TOP of the deductibles and what his office will collect from the insurance co.

Zero $

Do you believe in friends? Did you give out your graduation picture to friends? Do you let yourself be photographed?

I was talking about photos of my children. (In answer to your last questions, no and yes.)

You bring up a valid point. I might feel differently about giving out photos of my children to exceptionally close non-family members.

Because it's exploiting them? Ayin hara? What?

Oh okay. I was remembering a post of yours about not believing in best friends (other than a husband), so I was wondering if that extended to all friends.

Because I think it's weird. Also I'm generally a private person and don't believe in sharing everything with everyone.

To clarify, I didn't say I don't believe in best friends. I said I would like to marry my best friend.

You remember that post too? I knew you didn't use the word "believe" but I summarized the gist of it. You said you don't want to have a best friend until you get married, didn't you?

I remember most of my posts in which I've stated a strong opinion.

I said I won't have a best friend until I marry.