Is the shidduch crisis a real phenomenon or an artificial construct?

Ask the mother of a child in shidduchim...

There's no one to date.

Ain't that the truth. It seems as if everyone marriageable is either 17 or 35

I think that it's a combination of things. But the bottom line is that there are enough single guys and girls it's just a question of facilitating a meeting and getting both sides to agree to it.

ETA: I don't think anyone artificially created the shidduch crisis, but a variety of artificial factors made it happen. Once it's there it's useful as a way of controlling behavior, ie: if you don't fit the mold you'll never get married.

It depends on how you define "shidduch crisis."

Here's a great blog post on the subject:

http://sweetrose.blogspot.com/2007/08/what...uch-crisis.html

That's just the thing though. It can't be both ways. The way I understand it, there are 2 complaints - 1) that there is "no one" to go out with, and 2) the shidduch crisis is evident because there are so many single people in their 20's and 30's.

Well, which is it?

I don't think that's the real problem.

Yes, the "crisis" is that there are so many singles, but it's not that there's "nobody" to go out with, it's that especially as a person gets older there's no way to meet anybody except through a shadchan or by living on the UWS or some other singles neighborhood, and not everybody wants to be involved with those scenes as they are slightly unsavory.

Another problem is that guys in their 30s can and do go out with girls in their 20s, leaving girls in their 30s with much slimmer pickings.

I said MARRIAGEABLE people...
At least for me this is a real problem, I can't speak for anyone else. Anyone I am remotely interested in is either too young or too old for me, and I am not overly picky about age....

Is there a technical definition for "shidduch crisis"? If not, the question is meaningless and cannot be answered. It's like asking if there is an "obesity crisis". You can go either way as there is no exact definition of just what that means. Or you could similarly ask, are hamburgers stelofingicious? That question too meaningless because "stelofingicious" is not defined.


If they were indeed much slimmer perhaps there would be less of a crisis? I'm just kidding.....

Who was it that said, "there is no shiddich crisis... there is a stupidity crisis" ?

A lot of the "crisis" is caused by problems we've made for ourselves- unrealistic expectations, difficulties getting two people to even meet, peer pressure....

Yeah, UNDATEABLE!

IMO, the shidduch "crisis" is one of the many manifestations of the problems in frum society.
Teens-at-risk, shidduchim, adults with no connection... it's all coming from the same things.

This is very perceptive of you. The scarcity model makes people conform and hide - or even worse repress - all noncomformist behavior in order to be able to "get a shidduch".

Everything is all about whether or not it'll harm your chances of shidduchim.
I think it's also that some people that have taken it upon themselves to be shadchans are being closed minded. I spoke to one woman who told me that I have to decide NOW if I want to stay in Israel forever, or if I want to go back to America at some point. (The answer that I gave her was that I would prefer to stay here and that's the my first choice, but if things happen or the right guy comes along and the only problem is that he wants to go back to America in 5 yrs, then I won't argue). I think there's more of a problem with making the girls/guys be more picky then they want to be. The type of guy isn't going to change depending on whether or not he stays in Israel. There can be two guys that are exactly the same and one wants to go back and continue learning there (for example) and one wants to stay here.
Another shadchan told me that she doesn't really deal with people like me (chutznikim) but she guesses if I really want, she could try. Like I'm going to want to after a response like that.
Anyways, my point is that SOME of the people that have taken it upon themselves to fix up singles are too interested in superficial things and not listening to what the people want, but what they think is right for the guy/girl.
But that's just my opinion.

Nechama Dina's mom used shidduchim forever to make sure she wouldn't be friends with Lauren or wear that or be seen there.