I just got an invitation to a chasidic wedding, the boy is a bobover chasid and the girl is a gerrer chasid. Anything different about their weddings than regular right wing weddings?

as far as i know, chassidim eat the whole seuda right away and then dance, as opposed to litvish people. the chosson and the kallah won't seat at the same head table, but at different tables (not that you as a guest care). they'll have mitzva tantz, but unless you are a close relative, you don't care either.

can't think of anything else. mazel tov and enjoy it.

I haven't noticed this. What does everyone do when they're in the yichud room???

it's been a very long time since i stayed for the seuda at teh chasunah, and a chassidishe one, at that. but now i'm confused. there is definitely no break in the meal for the dancing - that i remember for sure. don't remember what happens right after teh yichud room, though

All the chassidic weddings I've been to have been exactly the same as any others, except for the mitzvah tantz, and putting out cholent and kigel so that the people who came for dancing have what to eat.....

it might be different in israel

I have another question about the wedding. My husband wears a black hat but only on shabbos or YT. Don't you think he would be out of place if he won't wear it to the wedding? I am trying (ever so gently) to force him to wear it but he says it is something he wears only ofr sahbbos. should I drop it?

yes, you should, unless he cares about being different.

if you went to a chassidishe shul to daven or for a seuda to a chassidishe family on yom tov, would you ask him to wear a shtreimel, not to look different?

when you go to yeshivishe chasunahs, does he wear a hat? if not, then he looks different there as well, what's the difference now?

And a bigger mechitza

No he doesn't wear his hat at yeshiva weddings. Okay, the truth is I feel out of place when he doesn't wear his hat, I mean he has a black hat why not wear it?

ok, so it's not about him but about you?

why is it so important to you? i recall you saying you come from more modern circles yourself, so it can't be that foreign to you. are you afraid he (and by extension, you) is seen as MO without his hat? i'm sure, he wears a regular black velvet kippah and a dark suit, so he does blend in with the crowd. no hat - is it really such a big deal? and how long are you two seen together at those chasunahs anyway?

Who eats cholent during the week?

Maybe it's my insecurities with being thought of as MO because growing up my family was the black sheep in our extended family. My extended family (grandparents, cousins etc.) are all RW and now that I am considered "black hat" I finally "fit in" with my family. I know it's crazy.

i hear. just stop bugging your husband about the hat, there is no fault of his anywhere here

as far as I am aware a chassidishe wedding is just like any other chareidi wedding except as has been said, a bigger mechitza; maybe the chosson kallah not sitting on the same top table or maybe not even in the same hall! Otherwise i am quite happy with whatever I and my husband wear, he wears a lounge suit and a black hat and they call him a sheygetz. Who cares.

Chassidim at weddings, and Yeshiva bochurim on Thursday nights.....

Just about every guy I know.



Try to focus on having fun at the wedding. It'll be a nice experience for you.

buchrim and hungry chassidim

Ruthie, no one at the wedding will make him feel out of place because he's not wearing a black hat. No one will even think it strange.
Other than the mitzvah tantz, there are differences..but nothing hard to follow.

Well, my husband will insist on eating cholent during the week if there's any left over, but to purposely prepare some fresh during the week... that would feel odd.