Several questions, so if you can only answer some, that's totally fine!!!!


My question is how do you know when a Rabbi or anyone else for that matter is telling you halacha or HIS opinion of halacha? In some cases, it's very obvious. However, in other cases, you are being taught Halacha and don't always know when it's the actual halacha or just an opinion of halacha. Also, is it important to know which it is? (I am referring to a case where the Rabbi telling you halacha is qualified to tell you his opinion, he is extremely learned.)


My other question is about choosing a Rav. "Asei lecha Rav." When/How did you choose your Rav? Do you ask all your shailos to him or do you ask certain shailos to another Rav, which you know is more qualified to answer? And would this be considered Rav shopping?!!!! Did you choose your Rav beause you know he is more makol/machmir??

Thanks for all your help!!!!

There's no such thing as a rabbi's "opinion" of halacha. What he might be telling you is a chumra or a kullah instead of the strict halacha, but it's not his opinion, it's his decision based on what he's learned. And frankly, anything you ask him is not likely something he's going to have to decide -- most likely there will already will be an answer. A really complicated halachic shaila shouldn't be asked of your LOR.


It's not at all important, if you don't care. If he's your rabbi and you are willing to follow what he tells you, then it doesn't matter.


I don't think you should go "rav shopping" to find who's always going to be more meikel (or more chumradik, if that's your style), but to find a rabbi whose hashkfah is in line with your own.

The following is completely subjective, and perhaps only valid for my frame of reference.

Unless a rabbi specifically says that X or Y halachic text rules a certain way, he is likely giving his opinion. This does not mean what he says is without weight. It should be assumed that any competent rabbi formulates an opinion based on the halachic sources at hand. He may choose between them at his discretion, but said discretion is informed. I personally would not ask halachic questions of a rabbi were I not confident that his opinion was one which fit within my haskafic perspective.

This leads to my second opinion. The rabbi I chose for my halachic queries is the same one who instructed me in Judaismo. Naturally, he and I share the same hashkafah (to an extent, at least). Now, I do not ask him everything, as I'm capable of flipping open the Mishne Torah, Kitsur Shulhan Aruch (with Yehaveh Da'ath), Thesouro dos Dinim, Peu'lath Sadik, or some other similar halachic guide or series of responsa. When I do ask a question, my rabbi knows it's because the answer is not cut and dry in a sourth with which I have familiarity. Furthermore, the only reason why there are some questions which I would ask of him is that he and I live in different states, and some issues require a person nearby.

I don't want to go as far as to say that I chose my rav because he was mekil, but I chose him because I felt that he understood me and how far I was willing/could go at each stage of my life. He's always available for me to ask questions to, answers them honestly and in a way that I can understand. If that means that he needs to use less Hebrew, show me exactly where in the sources to look, he does it. He's also equally comfortable talking to my husband. All around, I chose him because I like him, he teaches me, and he helps me take on mitzvot without being pushy.

I'm not sure the right word is "opinion" but obviously all Rabbis follow a certain mesorah, and have their own approach to halacha, so obviously they are giving you an interpretation of halacha which is a function of their stream within Judaism and their personality.

Some people will disguise political/ideological statements as halacha, and I think that's what you're asking about. (Quite a few people come to mind btw...)

I know what you mean. I have no interest in what the rabbi does in his house. I need a psak for me, at my level.

Would you ask certain shailos to one Rabbi and other shailos to another whose focus is in that area?
Like some Rabbis are very good at giving you a psak with Halacha, while others are better at Hashkafah questions...Right?!

If they were complicated, "new" questions, then of course. If one rabbi is an expert in fertility issues and another was an expert in geirut, then I know who I'd consult on which issue.


I don't know. I don't ask hashkafic questions and don't understand the purpose of it.

Your first paragraph, you are 100% right!!!!!!
The Rabbi who teaches Halacha is a very learned talmid chochum. Someone we all look up to. Some halachos we learn are different than what we do at home (some cases we are more stringent). For example, one idea I asked my father about and he said that we follow R' Moishe Feinstein and R' Moshe holds in that case to do x and x so that's what we follow. I guess my question is how do I know when my family is following the halacha and the Rabbi is being mekil in that case or when we are being more machmir and the Rabbi is teaching the actual halacha??


When do people choose a Rav for themselves? Assuming they come from a family where their father is learned...Is it wrong to just ask him all your shailos, and just sometimes ask a Rav because you want to see how he'll tackle the issue?

Sorry, one more post!!!

I'm just feeling confused about all this Halacha stuff!!!! If a Rav is considered to be the mekol type, is that wrong?? Why is it okay that some are more meikol while others are more machmir, how are both okay?? I know it depends on what level people are on...Would one rav give one person a meikol answer and another a machmir answer?

You'd either have to ask or look it up.


Whenever they meet one that they like. Most likely people choose rabbis that taught them in school, but it could be their shul rabbi, their new father-in-law, etc.


No, there's nothing wrong with that.


Nothing wrong with this either.


Because this is what they learned. Because there's no such thing as a straight answer for anything. Just about the whole gemara is rabbis arguing about halachic questions. Also because circumstances are different. What might be right for you may be wrong for someone else (and vice versa).

Thanks a lot!!!!

You're welcome.