You're going into the shul building and the door will close behind you. Some guy is behind you also coming in from the parking lot. Do you need to hold the door open for him? How far away does he need to be so that you can just go in and not have an obligation to hold the door for him?

What does 'obligation' mean?

In general I think one should hold the door if the door otherwise would have just slammed in the person's face (in the face can be a few feet away, but enough for the person to think, dang!). If the person is carrying something, then it's more than that.

If the person is within a few feet of you then I think it's polite to hold the door open for them. However, if he is quite a way back from you I don't think it's necessary (unless as Xi mentioned the person is carrying something and would need help with the door).

Yes, you do. How long you have to wait depends on many factors. Is it cold outside? Is there a vestibule? Is he elderly or carrying something? Is the weather poor? How far away is he? How slowly is he walking? Is he walking alongside someone else?

Personally, I'm more likely than not to hold the door, but that's only because I'm a selfish person.

When I drop my kids off at school they have to go up a flight of stairs, ring the bell and then wait to be buzzed in. They are not always buzzed in right away. My youngest son isn't able to reach the buzzer or hold open the door himself. So I need to take baby out of the stroller, go up the steps, buzz the bell, wait to be buzzed in and then hold door open for him. If I see someone come out I will call from the bottom of the steps to hold the door, but sometimes they just call back "what, what?" and let the door close behind them, so I have to go through the whole process. So, if I see someone waiting on the bottom of the stairs with a small child, I'll wait for that child to get in the building before letting the door close.

3.56 seconds....

I don't hold the door for anyone not married to me unless they are literally right behind me. Even then I just do the thing where you push your hand against the door to prevent it from closing, as you walk by. I don't stop and I don't wait for someone to get there.

The Gentleman is extinct.

Yes. If you're not late for shacharis/mincha/maariv, as long as it just means another minute or two I would hold it open. If you are going to be late, you can swing it more so that it sorta' stays open longer so it doesn't close as fast behind you.


Yes, need to take that into account.


To avoid this problem at my son's school, they have an adult standing there from about 20 minutes before school starts to help the kinderlach with the doors.

Except that Jeanette's son often gets dropped off well past 20 minutes after school starts. It goes with the territory of being tzuflaigen.

I know what that means!


[In my kids' school, you also need to be buzzed in, but there's nobody in the office after hours so when the kids have a program after school you simply can't get in to meet the kids inside, or to let's say pick them up early].

If it's someone with heavy packages, I will go and help them.

If it's someone older and walking slowly, I'll hold it if they are really close. If they are too far away, it might put pressure on them to walk faster.

Otherwise, I'll hold the door only if I don't have to wait.

Once they see me look at them even if they are a half a min away, I feel guilty and awkwardly wait. Probably making both parties uncomfortable.
Its one of those difficult think quick decisions and I always take the awkward route.

There's a great rule you should follow. Never. Look. Back.

He's missing precious minutes of television-watching, a frightening scenario.