Food can be used for purposes of satiation or gluttony...

How do you set a tone as to how food is viewed?

Healthful choices, variety and other concerns?



Differences of opinion- on opposite sides of the spectrum - can a health food nut maintain shalom bayit with a junk food junkie?

I believe so. In my home, mh (health food one) tries to encourage me to eat healthy foods I like (i.e. spinach). I (junk food junkie) try to eat my 'specials' while he's away, out of sight, etc.

My husband is all into junk. Donuts for breakfast, chips for lunch, and a normal dinner if I'm cooking. I eat salads and fish, whole wheat/spelt, and decent snacks.

I hate his eating patterns, but of course we maintain shalom bayis.

What's with the food concerns?

Just interested...a different look at things, especially (well, it kind of depends) since some of these issues transcend hashkafah- but are more connected to health and wellbeing (would be interesting to compare one of the health related shidduch threads to one about healthful eating, etc.)

Oh and culturally, food is the cornerstone of the Jewish family and Jewish life. (waiting for attack)

I find male health food junkies to be a total turn-off. I'd force feed him pizza and ice cream to knock some sense into him as a 
matter of principle.

More fascinating in my opinion is how she decides which forums to sprinkle her threads in. For example, that this one about shalom bayit or diet should end up in society and culture. I guess the mods aren't really particular how some members distribute their threads.

I give up my rights-- they can move the threads if they deem it necessary or appropriate.


eta: melech, what do you think about the topic at hand, in any case?

my opinion is that it may not be easy- if person A is used to fried dishes and person B is more accustomed to grilled dishes-- it may be hard to reconcile these differences. How do you shop for food with the divergence of tastes?

Yes, absolutely. That you can only match couples with exact viewpoints or otherwisely closely compatible on a shidduch profile index is a myth. As with anything, couples compromise and work out working solutions, and sometimes opposite complement each other since no extreme is good anyway. Maybe it helps the health food nut to let down her guard once in a while and maybe it helps the junk food junkie to be a bit more sensitive to health issues.

Are you an ISTJ by any chance?

Well, that's a moot point because they can move the threads regardless of whether you give up your rights, can't they?

With regard to the kids, like most other things in the home: modeling and cues.

Over time I think a lot of couples' tastes tend to converge. Eating habits change from those we are used to at our parents' homes and although we may maintain certain predilections, I guess most people eventually find a working compromise. Eating habits probably change for couples over time without even noticing it. Although I assume that the one doing the most shopping and cooking is better placed for his or her personal tastes to triumph.

That's so selfish.

Could be, if it were a selfish person doing most of the shopping or cooking. When it isn't, there's little to worry about.

If I believed in eating healthily in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle and promote personal fitness and longevity then it would probably be a turn off if my spouse was the opposite. I would be upset she didn't care about living longer or being attractive. I am assuming you mean someone who eats a completely unhealthy diet and to excess.