Say your spouse asks you to go with them to their doctor appointment so you can see what they have to go through, would you go?

(In case of men, you are going to your wife's gynecolgist appointment, women are going to husbands regular checkup.)

yes, if its that important to him

If he wanted me to, he would also come if I asked him to. But, in general, neither of us make such a request of each other.

Yes, of course.

It beats having to sit in the waiting room.....

When my husband was ill, I didn't miss a single appointment. I did miss one of his radiation treatments, but only because I was previously scheduled to play in a golf tournament and he told me he wanted me to play. I wanted to skip the tournament, but he insisted.

The main reason I would always choose to go with him to a doctor's appointment is that I would get the truth. When MH goes on his own, whether for a checkup or a more serious matter, I have the feeling that I get the edited version of what the doctor said, leaving out any parts that MH doesn't choose to take on board. Also he always forgets to ask the really important questions, so that's another reason for me to go along.

Not if it meant having to take time off of work.

What if it was something more than a simple checkup? She was worried and frightened and needed support. Would you take time off then? I know MH wouldn't come to a simple appointment for the reason you suggest, but I was scared, he would drop everything and come.

My husband and I always go along to each others appointments. If it doesn't work out, then we'll work around it, but in general we go together.

Now that my dad is retired, he and my mom schedule their appointments back to back so they can go together.

Of course I would come if he wanted. It hasn't happened yet though, and he doesn't either come to mine unless it's an ultrasound or we were anyways on the way to somewhere together that day. I have lots of friends who bring their husbands with to the gyn, apparantly you get treated better that way.

I would certainly go. If he's asking, he probably has some concerns and either wants my support or wants me to be able to directly question the doctor.



Probably depends on what the appt is for. The OP seemed to imply that it was just a regular doctor visit so I totally understand not wanting to take off work. However, for some visits, it makes sense to take off (there are many unhappy examples so I'll just give the happy one of an ultrasound).

For a regular checkup? Yuck, no. Only if it was for something serious (ch"v).

If the spouse wants you to be there, and you can be- why on earth not?


I must say, that has never been my experience. (Not to say I've been treated badly, but it's made absolutely no difference whether my husband was with me or not. Just meant I had someone to talk to in the waiting room.)

I'm doctor phobic.

Iatrophobia

What if he is also and your being there would make it so much easier for him?

That sounds like the blind leading the blind.

I am very Dr phobic and if my husband wouldnt drag me by my neck i would NEVER go. So yeah he comes with me.

I didn't know there were so many doctor-phobic people around. How old-fashioned ARE some of you guys?

I'm on team 'surewhynot?'


When you get married you do lots of 'yuck' things and this is a lot less 'yuck' than most others!

How is it old-fashioned to be afraid to go to the doctor?


Well, it was more of a yuck "yikes" than a yuck "ick." Besides, you can always get a cleaning lady to clean the toilet.

My in-laws are extremely old-fashioned, and raised my husband to avoid doctors as well. It's their thinking that if you go to a doctor, he'll find something wrong with you. Whether fortunately or not, we've been put into a couple of scenarios where we need to be at doctors on an almost-constant basis, and thank g-d my husband has risen to the occasion magnificently. He doesn't even blink anymore.

Can you explain what part of visiting the doctor is scary? Listening to your lungs? A shot?

For me, it's getting on the scale.

Oh, in that case I'm with you.

How is it either yuck? I mean the doc won't be doing anything to you, and you won't be seeing anything you haven't seen before.


That always used to terrify me! (kind of understandable being that I'm a good 60 lbs overweight and I'm approximately the same size I was when I was 12 years old! I was also scared of throat cultures and shots and I was scared that if I went for anything else I'd end up needing one or all of the above. I'm no longer scared of going to the doctor though.

That's not related to their being old-fashioned. It's very typical for men to this very day to be scared of going to the doctor. It's less typical for women, but then who said we h.commers were typical?


I don't know. I just know that I go to the doctor and my heart rate goes sky high.

Aren't you afraid of anything? Bugs, mice, snakes, small spaces, etc.? Can you tell me what's so scary about that? A phobia is, by definition, irrational.

I wouldn't want to watch my husband being poked and prodded. That sounds highly unpleasant.

True.

Not really. It may be that your fear won't be as intense since it's not you being poked and prodded. Your husband's fear may be lessened by having you there with him. So, by taking on some unpleasantness yourself, you make your husband's visit tolerable for him.

not all ultrasounds are happy ones.

Unfortunately, very true. And also a reason why it would be important to the wife that the husband was there. Even in cases where there are no known problems and the pregnancy is a happy occasion, there's always that fear. That being said, an untrasound appt is generally happier than a cardio consult.

Not if things go like:

Him: I'm pretty nervous about this.
Me: Me too.
Him: You're not the one being poked and prodded.
Me: I know, but I'm freaking out anyway!
Him: Thanks, dear, you're a big help.

True. It depends on the couple. But, if it would actually help him (see below), would you go?

Him: I'm pretty nervous about this.
You: Me too.
Him: But it makes it easier having you here with me.

Not all ultrasounds are for pregnancies. Some cardio consults include ultrasounds or prescriptions for one.

Not all ultrasounds are for pregnancy.

Also true.

But, for crying out loud, people, do you not get my point that there are some times when a spouse would want the other at an appt when it's not something horrible?

I doubt it. What did he do before he got married? Bring his mommy along?

What if he COULD go on his own but it would make him feel better if you were there?

I suppose. But it means he's going to be doing the dishes for the next month or two.

Why isn't he doing the dishes every month?

I was thinking more of a romantic getaway.

Good question!


Yeah, I could live with that.

Trust me, it doesn't.


Why not? Because I'd avoid having my husband see me in unsexy positions whenever possible. No woman looks sexy in gyno stirrups. No one. And yes, I'd have my husband (when I have one someday) wait outside while I was giving birth.

I don't know about gynecologists over there, but over here they have a curtain to block off the area where the woman is being examined, so that she can have privacy from whomever accompanies her.

If my husband asked me to come with him I would. Since I have a little kid at home, if he doesn't ask I don't normally go.

My husband was at every pregancy related appointment.


It can be. (My husband had a sty removed under local anesthetic when we were married for about a year and i stood next to him, holding his hand, during the whole 10/15 minute procedure ... it was YUCK and I most probably shouldn't have done it but i did it anyway.)


We'll talk when it isn't just some theoretical husband. Perhaps you should consider his feelings on the matter - he may want to be there for the first U/S (in early PG they can only see the fetus with and internal scan) and/or birth of his child - and he may just be all the more in love with you for having his child to make the-seeing-you-in-what-you-perceive-to-be-unsexy-position all the more worthwhile.

Anyway there's always the head end for him to stand at, making suitably encouraging noises. No-one says he has to be at the business end.

And whenever I've accompanied MH on his prostate checkups and exams, there is no way I've witnessed the prodding up unmentionable orifices. All is done behind a mercifully concealing screen or in another room. I'm just there for support.

well said!

Ok, I guess the point of the thread was missed. He/She is asking you to go so you will have to witness the prodding up stuff. He wants you to SEE what he has to go through

I see. Hm. Mostly docs keep us out of that part.