After the initial euphoria wears off, is there necessarily a stage in which a newlywed despises everything about his/her spouse?

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2008/03/...5126161333.html
"Stage one is perfection - blind love. Stage two is the difficult stage because you start to despise everything about her. If you can deal with the baggage you can possibly get to stage three - a harmonious marriage."

I've never heard such rubbish. Since when is Omid Djalili the Moshe Rabbenu of marriage expertise? I looked through his bio to see his marital status; it is significantly absent.

Yes long term marriages go through highs, and troughs when you feel jaded, bored or stale but if you ever actually despise each other.... that's bad.

Never heard of this and while I can see where it's coming from I think it's a totally innacurate genralization.

I think 'despise' is too strong a word.

Perhaps stage 2 should be 'incredibly annoyed by things about your spouse.'

Really? I wonder where I have been going wrong.

that's probably one of the most retarded pieces of marriage advice i've ever heard. it sounds made up and i don't even believe brad pitt even talked to him, let alone asked him for advice.

Nowhere. Just like in mourning, not every stage has to be experienced by every person. But for those who do get annoyed with their spouse, it's normal and need not spell out the end of the marriage.

Me too .

Although I do hear Arizona's point - after the bliss it's only natural to have a bit of a low, where real life sets in and the spouse's faults come creeping through. Although I wouldn't call it 'despise,' for crying out loud. If it's gotten to that point, it hardly sounds like it'll become harmonious.

i agree.

or "waking up"

Flaws are not always a bad thing.

I discovered my spouse

1. Was a litvak (being very young I hadn't considered the ramifications of that Not a major fault, and a source of much amusement between us when I joke that his favorite time of year is tisha b'av

2. Wasn't at all musical and had no appreciation whatever of aesthetics of any kind; be it scenic beauty, art, architecture, interior design or fashion. The upside of this terrible flaw in his character is that I can decorate my house to MY taste entirely; he doesn't have a clue. I would actually find the sort of husband who has to approve all of his wife's clothing, very restrictive, so his total obliviousness to what I wear ties in nicely to my free spirited nature.

3. Is not romantic at all. He's a typical straight-talking British Northerner. At first this lack of romance in his nature bothered me a lot but you get used to it. I would hardly call it a case for despising him.

All in all we're doing pretty good after 40 yrs

Good to hear that you all disagree.

As someone who still hopes to marry, I was getting worried.

Despising your spouse is the first step towards a high conflict divorce. Not everyone gets divorced, and not all divorces are high conflict. So there.
I never hated my ex-husband while we were still living together, despite having gone through verbal and physical abuse. Once he left that changed, but still "despise" is a very strong word. I'd use "resent" rather than "despise".

Never heardof it or experienved it. Married 21 yrs bli ayin horah.