Yiddish is a rich language. In particular, it is unusally rich with curses and insults. Recently, a several hundred authentic Yiddish epithets were compiled by a scholar named Yosef Guri, in his book Let's Hear Only Good News: Yiddish Blessings and Curses. (Hebrew University, Department of Russian and Slavic Studies, 2004) I picked out a bunch that I thought were particularly funny and posted them below. There is just something SO Jewish about each one of these nasty tidbits. (I think it's pretty clear why the Chofetz Chaim had to write his sefer when he did.)

------------

א גרויס געשעפט זאלסטו האבן מיט סחורה, וואס דו האסט זאל מען ביי דיר ניט פרעגן, און וואס מען פרעגט זאלסטו ניט האבן
"You should have a big, well-stocked store, and what you do have your customers shouldn't ask for and they should ask for what you don't have!"

א דאקטער זאל דיך דארפן
"A doctor should need you!"

א זיסן טויט זאלסטו האבן -- א טראק מיט צוקער זאל דיך איבערפארן
"You should have a sweet death -- a truck full of sugar should run over you!"

א מזל־ברכה זאל דיר דער אייבערשטער צושיקן אין דיין פעקעלע צרות
"A mazal-brochoh G-d should send into your bag of tzores!"

א משוגענעם זאל מען אויסמעקן און דיך אריינשרייבן
"A meshugeneh should be released [from the asylum] and you should remain [in his place]!"

א שטרוי דיר אין אויג און א שפאן דיר אין אויער, און זאלסט ניט וויסן וואס פריער ארויסצוציען
"You should have a piece of chaff in your eye and a splinter in your ear and not know which to remove first!"

איבער די הייזער זאלסטו זיך שלעפן מיט קינדסקינדער אויף דורדורות
"You should go shlepping [i.e. begging] from house to house with your descendents for generations!"

איך האב דיך אזוי האלט, אז איך וואלט דיר מיין טויט ניט געזשאלעוועט
"I think so highly of you that I wouldn't refuse to give you my own death!"

איך זאל דיך זען אויף איין פוס, און דו מיך -- מיט איין אויג
"I should see you on one leg and you should see me with one eye!"

אלע ציין זאלן דיר ארויספאלן, נאר איינער זאל דיר בלייבן -- אויף צאנווייטיק
"Your teeth should all fall out except for one that should stay -- for a toothache!"

ג-ט זאל אויף דיר אנשיקן פון די צען מכות די בעסטע
"G-d should strike you with the best one of the Ten Makkos!"

ג-ט זאל דיך בענטשן מיט דריי מענשן: איינער זאל דיך האלטן דער צווייטער זאל דיך שפאלטן און דער דריטסר זאל דיך באהאלטן
"G-d should bless you with three people: the first should hold you, the second should kill you, and the third should bury you!"

גיין זאלסטו א כפרה פאר כל עם ישראל
"You should be a kapporoh for all the Jewish people!"

געהרגעט זאלסטו ווערן דורך א גוטן גוי
"You should be killed by a good goy!" [i.e. so a Jew doesn't have to do it]

די לעבער זאל דיר שטיקלעכווייז דורך דער נאז ארויספליען
"Your liver should come out piece by piece through your nose!"

די ערד נעמט דיך ניט צו
"[Even] the earth won't take you [because you are so evil]!"

דיין נשמה זאל אריינגיין אין א קאץ, און א הונט זאל איר א ביס טאן
"Your neshomoh should go into a cat, and a dog should bite it!"

דער מלאך המוות זאל זיך אין דיר פארליבן
"The Malach HaMoves should fall in love with you!"

הונדערט הייזער זאלסטו האבן, אין יעדער הויז הונדערט צימערן, אין יעדעד צימער צוואנציק בעטן, און קדחת זאל דיך ווארפן פון איין בעט אין דער צווייטער
"You should have one hundred houses, with one hundred rooms in each house, with twenty beds in each room, and a violent fever should throw you from bed to bed [without you being able to find rest on any of them]!"

המנס גדולה און קרחס נס זאל דיך טרעפן
"You should have Haman's gedulah and Korach's neis!"

ווערן זאל פון דיר א בלינטשיק, און די קאץ זאל דיך כאפן
"You should be turned into a pancake and the cat should snatch you!"

(Or, for when you want to curse TWO people:)
ווערן זאל פון דיר א בלינטשיק און פון אים א קאץ, ער זאל דיך אויפעסן און מיט דיר זיך דערווערגן -- וואלט מען פון אייך ביידן פטור געווארן
"You should turn into a pancake and him into a cat, he should eat you and choke on you -- then we'll be rid of both of you!"

זאלן ווערעם פראווען א חתונה אין דיין בויך און איינלאדן אלע זייערע קרובים -- פון יהופעץ ביז סלאבאדקע
"Worms should make a chasunah in your stomach and invite all their relatives -- from Yehupetz to Slabodka!"

זאלסטו וערן אזוי רייך אז דיין אלמנהס מען זאל זיך קיין מאל ניט זארגן וועגן פרנסה
"You should become so rich that your widow's husband won't have to worry about parnosoh."

זאלסט לעבן ביז הונדערט און צוואנציק יאר -- מיט א הילצערנעם קאפ און גלעזערנע אויגן
"You should live until 120 years -- with a wooden head and glass eyes!"

ליג אין דר'ערד און באק בייגל
"Go live underground and bake bagels!"

מע זעל ניט וויסן ווו דיין גביין איז אהינגעקומען
"They shouldn't know where your bones are."

שרייבן זאל מען דיר רעצעפטן
"They should write you [only] doctor's prescriptions."

This is the wierdest piece I've read. Who said they were originally in Yiddish? This guy who wrote it knows Yiddish? You could take curses from any language and turn it into a Yiddish curse. What the?????

These are not used nowadays at all. Don't knwo where it's from and who composed them, but no one uses them.

they definitely are yiddish, and not just translations.

they sound like polishe/livishe curses... good hungarians wouldn't talk like that.

mosheshmeal
.

And would that be why dear Mindy hasn't heard of them?

also because a large percentage of the polishe yidden that weren't slaughtered bacame frei, and subsequently their yiddish died too. except for the 150 yiddishisten left in the world.

mosheshmeal
.

I've heard of many of these, never actually used but they are of Yiddish origin.

yeah...good hungarians get REAL nasty.

we used the 'words' we know (read: heard Hungarians swearing at each other) in Hungary with hilarious results !!!

that's the hungarian temper! Brought on by ingesting too much Hungarian paprika and tokaji.

snob .

Utazunyuchilugad ustakutchafeyanechi.

Except by my Europian holocost surviver grandparents.

Where are they from?

and peopler of russian origin, would interupt thier yiddish to curse in russian

There is some Jewish mindset common to almost all of the curses. It's a little hard to put your finger on, but it's undeniable. All these expressions reflect something unique to the Jewish experience, to what it's like to think like Yid. Only a Jew would think and talk like this when he/she is angry. No truly frum yid would talk this way, of course, but you can see some aspect of the yiddishe spirit.

Some more:

אפקויפן זאל מען ביים טאטן דיינע מלבושים
"They should buy your clothing from your father!" [i.e. you should be dead]

ג-ט זאל דיר געבן א ראק מיט א רעקעלע -- וועסטו האבן א גאנצן קאסטיום
"G-d should give you a big cancer and a little cancer -- then you'll have a whole outfit!"
[This is a pun. The word for "cancer" in Yiddish also means "jacket".]

געזונט און שטארק זאלסטו זיין ווי אייזן, זאלסט זיך ניט קענען איינבייגן
"You should be gezunt and shtark like iron, so that you won't be able to bend over!"

דאקטוירים זאלן וויסן פון דיר און דו פון דאקטוירים
"Doctors should know from you and you from them!"

וואס ס'האט זיך מיר געחלמט די נאכט און יענע נאכט און אלע נאכט פון א גאנץ גייענדיק יאר, זאל אויסגיין צו דיר, צו דיין קאפ לייב־און־לעבן
"What I dreamt of last night and the other night and all the nights of a whole long year should happen to you, to your head, and to all your life and body!"

זאלן דיינע שונאים אויסלינקען זייערע פיס ווען זיי וועלן טאנצן אויף דיין קבר
"Your enemies should sprain their ankles dancing on your kever!" [idiomatic translation]

The following one is my personal favorite:
זאלסט אזוי שיין רעדן, אז נאר די קעץ זאלן דיר פארשטיין
"You should speak so beautifully that only the cats understand you!"

זאלסט וואקסן ווי א ציבעלע -- מיטן קאפ אין דר'ערד
"You should grow like an onion -- with your head in the ground!"

זאלסט זיין געבענטשט ווי א שבת־ליכט -- ברענען פון אויבן און שמעלצן פון אונטן
"You should be blessed like a Shabbos licht -- burning from the top and melting from the bottom!"

Weird:
מע זאל דיך איינלאדן צום גובערנאטאר אויף א סעודה און דו זאלסט אים געבן א גרעפץ אין פנים אריין
"You should be invited by the governor to a meal and then belch in his face!"

מע זאל רופן צו דיר סראטשנע א דאקטער, און אז יענער וועט קומען זאל מען אים זאגן, אז מע דארף שוין ניט
"They should call a doctor for you urgently and when he arrives they should tell him that they don't need him anymore!" [idiomatic translation]

מע זאל שוין נאך דיר א נאמען געבן
"They should name someone after you already!"

ניט רירן זאלסטו זיך פון ארט
"You shouldn't be able to move from this spot!"

ס'זאל דיר זיין גוט אויפן גוטן־ארט
"You should have it good in the good place!"
[In Yiddish the cemetery is sometimes called "the good place".]

The following one is especially interesting:
ס'זאלן קומען אויף דיר די פיר פתחן
"The four patachs should come upon you!"
[refering to the Hebrew word "בַקַדַחַת", "in a bad fever"]

צען שיפן מיט גאלד זאלסטו פארמאגן און דאס גאנצע געלט זאלסטו פארקרענקען
"You should own ten ships full of gold and have to spend all the money on doctors!" [idiomatic translation]

And finally,
עסן זאלסטו געהאקטע לעבער מיט ציבעלעס, שמאלצהערינג, יויך מיט קניידלעך, קארפ מיט כריין, איינגעדעמפסט מיט צימעס, לאטקעס, טיי מיט ציטרין, יעדן טאג -- און זאלסט זיך מיט יעדן ביס דערשטיקן
"You should eat chopped liver with onions, schmaltz-herring, chicken soup with kneidlach, carp with chrein, roastbeef with tsimmes, laktes, and tea with lemon every day -- and choke on every bite!"

I must say yiddish curses are so much more original and colourful than the four letter words everyone seems to spout these days.

but who actually uses these yiddish curses? shakespearean insults are also much more colorful than the generic 4-letter word, but no one has the time to give a whole speech every time they feel the need to curse.

I'm surprised people are not more amused by some of those curses and picking out favorites. I posted this in the "Humor" forum for a reason.

I thought it was meant more of a window on a culture.

Most of them are curses disguised as blessings. I find that funny.

I find most of them quite amusing actually.

"You should be a kapporoh for all the Jewish people!" - perfect for Neturei Karta

Yes, of course. I posted it for both humoristic and anthropological reasons. Jokes are truly a window into the culture of a people.

Here's just one of many things I noticed about those curses. Look at how most of them are wishes for a person to be blessed in such-and-such a way but then not to be able to enjoy it. Why wish a person to have ten ships loaded with gold but have to spend it on his health? Why wish a person to have a gourmet meal but then to choke on it again and again? There were dozens more like this in the book, including one where a man is cursed to have a beautiful wife but to be impotent. It's as if the point of half the curses is that someone should be psychologically frustrated. It's as if Jews don't wish specific calamities on people so much as they wish sadness and unhappiness with life. It's so Seinfeldish, a reflection of how neurotic and complaining some Jews are. Take the one with the wishing that a person's father should have to sell the person's clothing when he dies. The point seems not so much to wish death on the person, but to wish a depressing thought on them.

And look at all the sarcasm, like cursing someone by comparing them to a nice thing like a Shabbos candle. Wishing that someone should grow like a plant seems like a blessing, but then the part about having their head in the ground like an onion is thrown in. Several of them use the form "you should be blessed with..." Why the sarcasm? Why the surprise twists at the end? It's almost as if the person doing the cursing is mainly hoping to momentarily confuse and bewilder the person he is talking to. I don't think other cultures have such neurotic and psychologically subversive insults. It's fascinating.

My favorites:

"You should have a sweet death -- a truck full of sugar should run over you!"

"You should become so rich that your widow's husband won't have to worry about parnosoh."

Not an insult to Sephardim at all

not bad, I stopped a second for that one ahava.

On the happier end of things, a good college friend recently purchased this book. When flipping through, he gave me the following berakha:

May you have King David's fur coat, Judah's error and Boaz's shock.

Now that's what I call a good friend.

I recently heard a good one. I don't have a yiddish font so I'll have to use English letters, but I thought it's hillarious.

NOTE: I won't bother translating it to English, as the joke totally gets lost in translation.

If someone is talking alot of shtusim you say about them: "er is a velts reidner, ehr ret in deh velt aran"

Bump.

i never heard any of these used in real life... no one would say these to someone...

Yes, a good Hungarian can curse way better in Hungarian.

Shall I introduce you to my grandmother? She can likely go three days of cursing without repeating herself....


all the words I know in Hungarian are either bad, or sound bad! lol


Yet a slap in the face for any Ashkenazi. Oy the pitying looks we got when we said Our son was named after FIL, Everyone said "so sorry to hear that!" I had to explain to everyone that my FIL was alive, and sandek at the brit....Then they were just horrified!

Yes, please do. Most of them are dying out sadly.

mosheshmeal
.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dSHl3C9kgY...ted&search=
1:23

btw, did the guy say "der erd" or "drek"?

ווען דער נער איז נישט מיינס וואלט איך אויך געלאכט