This a shmuez I gave a while back to the guys in my Yeshiva. It has relevance to the disscusion in another thread.(Leaving your parents derech) I hope you enjoy,and would appreciate feedback and ha'aros if you have any.( keep in mind it was directed to H.S. boys)


Hakoras Hatov

B”EH
In Parashas Vayeshev (perek 39,pasuk8-9) ,the Torah describes Yosef Hatzadik’s rebuffing the advances of Potifar’s wife. In Pasuk 9, Yosef says (in reference to his master) “he has given everything in his house (to control) except for you, since you are his wife. And how can I do this great evil, and sin to Hashem.”
The question that the Miforshim deal with 1) why does Yosef break this down into two parts? Wouldn’t just saying that it’s a sin to Hashem be enough? 2) What is meant by “this great evil”?
-The Or HaChaim answers-Yosef is saying that 1) with this one act; he will be losing out on all the good that has been done for me. 2) And, I will be removing myself from the source of souls (Hashem).Since this is prohibited to all B’nei Noach.
-The Sipurno says that this would be paying back goodness with evil.

On this Siporno, the Chidushei Halev,(R’ Henoch Lebowitz Shlita) explains to what length a person has to go to have hakoras hatov. The Medrash describes the constant problems Yosef struggled with daily in Potifar’s house. Potifar’s wife would try to seduce Yosef by constantly changing her outfits, threatening to have him incarcerated, blinded, etc.etc. Yet based on this Siporno, we see Yosef felt compelled to endure this daily torture out of a sense of hakoras hatov to his master! From Yosef we learn that hakoras hatov mandates us to forgo our comforts, control our desires, and even endure terrible hardships! I would like to suggest an even greater chidush .From these passages, one can deduce that Yosef felt that 1) being a “kofuy tov” would be perpetrating a great evil. And beyond that,2) it’s a sin against Hashem. Meaning even If Hashem didn’t consider it a sin, the very fact that someone does you a favor means you owe him! To not appreciate the good done to us is a repugnant thing to do! When one reads the Midrash about Potifar, this lesson becomes even MORE profound!-The Midrash describes Potifar as someone who tried to commit acts of homosexuality with Yosef. Furthermore ,he first had Yosef do harsh labor. It was only later after seeing the success Yosef had, did he entrust him with running his estates.-Not for Yosef, but for obvious selfish motives. Yet, despite these facts, Yosef feels compelled to show his gratitude to Potifar, for all the good done to him! Not to, is to perpetrate a great evil! Unbelievable! Look at how far someone has to grateful! Your benefactor may have all the wrong intentions, but if you benefit, you owe him gratitude!
This concept is not only restricted to people, but is extended to inanimate objects as well! Moshe Rabeinu was prohibited from bringing the first three Makos because of this!
Dam and Tzifardea, because he was saved as a child by the Nile. Kinim, the sand saved him by hiding his murder of the Mitzri. These Makos were the greatest demonstration of Kidush Hashem since creation! A Mitzvah of more gravity would be hard to find! Yet despite all this, Moshe cannot bite the hand that feeds him! Aharon will have to do them in his stead! Pilay piloyim! So repugnant is this midah of being a kofuy tov!
The repulsiveness of being a “kofuy tov” is further demonstrated in Devarim
(23, 4-10.)There, the Torah states the prohibition of allowing a man of either Amon or Moav to join K’lal Yisroel. Why? Since they didn’t offer you bread and water and they hired Bilaam to destroy you. Reading the next few P’sukim one should question why are they singled out? The Torah goes on to say –Do not despise Eisav for he is your brother. Do not despise the Mitzrim because you were “geirim” in their land. They can marry into the ‘K’hal Hashem’ after three generations. On these P’sukim, Rashi comments that even though you have a legitimate reason to hate them (Eisav tries to kill you, Mitzrayim drowned your babies etc…), don’t hate them to much…. Let them in after three generations. (After all, they were your hosts in your time of need.)
At first glance, the Torah doesn’t seem to be making much sense! The people of Amon and Moav tried to curse you, and didn’t offer you bread and water-They may never be a part of K’lal Yisroel! But Eisav and Mitzrayim killed your people- you can let them in after a few years! Where’s the justice in that?!? The Ramban, Or HaChayim, and other Miforshim explain – Amon and Moav were descendants of Lot and his daughters, who were saved in the merit of Avrohom Avinu. They of all nations should’ve felt compelled to do anything they could to help out the B’nei Yisroel! They owe their whole existence to Avrohom ! Yet they demonstrated such a lack of Hakoras Hatov .Such a total lack of Midos Tovos has no place amongst K’lal Yisroel. They are banned for ever! How profound is the concept of Hakoras Hatov!
The question for us now is- How do we inculcate this crucial Midah into our everyday lives? Why don’t we feel this obligation as strongly as Yosef and Moshe did?
The answer I think can be borrowed from the Chovos HaLevovos. After proving in the first Shaar, the existence of G-d, Rabeinu Bachya ibn P’kuda (author) in his next Shaar goes on to explain the requirement to reflect on the good Hashem does for us in our everyday lives. He goes on to say that we all have a chiyuv to study the sciences to figure out the grandeur and intricate complexities of our bodies, our world, and our universe! We have to learn to appreciate all that Hashem does for us! Or at least realize the magnitude and scope of his love for us! Our problem is that we don’t take the time to recognize the good that people do for us, much less what G-d does! If we truly did, our Tefilos would look different; our perspectives of people would change! Did we ever think to thank our parents for sending us to a Makom Torah and not Chas V’chalilah to a public school! Our eternity and the very lives of our children will be directly impacted by this decision! We should thank them! Respect them! Honor them! Did we take the time to recognize that there are people here who work very hard to make sure our school looks clean and neat everyday? We should appreciate this and try to keep it neat so as not to make it that much more difficult for them! How about considering how much time and effort our Rebbeim put in to making our Shiurim. The least we can do is stay awake and indulge them with our participation! Who knows we may even enjoy it! So despite what we may think the reason people do things for us (he wants a paycheck or my friendship etc…), the bottom line is we benefit from them, we therefore must show our appreciation! If we take the few moments to reflect on all the good that we have in our lives, and who we owe our thanks to for it, I guarantee we’ll be happier for it and like Yosef, it may even save our futures!

Ha'aros anyone? (particularly regarding my chiddush) Does it hold water? Is it muchrach?

Just a thought...
There is a maaseh with one of the Rav Bloch's (Telz, I thnk it was R' Yehuda Leib Bloch?) where the mashgiah of Telz pushed for R' Bloch to become the Rosh Yeshiva. Once he was Rosh Yeshiva, he decided that the mashgiach wasn't suitable for the yeshiva, so he "fired" him. People came up to him and said, "How can you do that? What about hakaras hatov?" His answer was, "Hakaras Hatov means recognizing the good, not doing the tov for them they did for you."



-Nooch

This d'var Torah is relevant to this weeks parshah. I figure its worth a bump.

Nooch,

That's a very good dvar torah. Thanks for sharing/bumping

Wrong. Hakaras Hatov means doing kindness to those who did kindness for you, not
just "acknowledgement".  I doubt this maise is true, and if it is, it's certainly not flattering. It basically champions hair splitting over derech eretz -too much lomdus and too little substance.

Thank you and you are welcome.

Your common or garden Yessivisser in a nut shell...


Actually, I'm not so sure about the 'lomdus' bit, really.